If it makes you happy ...

... it can't be that bad?

I went to a big business conference last week at Bolton Football stadium. It's called 'The Big Festoon' and it's unlike anything I've ever been to!

It was my second time, but the organiser and host - Dani Wallace, a professional speaking coach; entrepreneur; published author and all round awesome human being, is someone I've known for some time. I did one of her speaking courses during lockdown and have followed her ever since.

She's all about inclusion, zero judgement and everybody winning - exactly my bag. Last week she talked about finding your 'joy' and it got me thinking ....

If you don't know, I'm a bit woowoo. Spiritual and intuitive work makes me happy. 'Getting' someone, where they come from, what they're all about, even before they've told me what they need, well, it lights me up. Working with clients using my own unique blend of woo, science and psychology and seeing rapid transformations definitely brings me joy.

But what about away from work related stuff? What then?

I had an oracle card reading at one of the events I host a few weeks ago. The reader told me I do too much for everyone else and not enough for me. I burst out crying! I felt totally called out on this, but thankfully I was amongst many friends. It was a much needed release and she was absolutely spot on.

I presumed this was related to my kids - I'm a one (wo)man band with four womb dumplings, very little practical support around me and although their dad is still around, he sees them maybe two days each month. So yeah, it's me and them versus the world and I do a shit ton of stuff for them all - as any parent would. Hearing her call me out in this way made me take a moment and try and figure out how I could take more time for me. It's a work in progress - we listen (read) and we don't judge!

Then. Last week at The Big Festoon, I had another reading from a conscious business owner who's created her own arcana cards related to business and growth.

It blew my mind. She said virtually the same thing, but in relation to business life. The walls tumbled down, the realisations hit me - boom - boom - boom - one after the other, like opening a can of biscuits, only to find it’s actually one of those prank snake-in-a-can toys - except instead of one spring-loaded snake, it’s an entire chaotic army of them launching at your face, each hissing “Ohhhh, NOW you get it?!” 

See, my health has been baaaaad these last few weeks. Severe breathlessness, almost to the point of hospitalisation; lethargy, confusion and such intense apathy for the world, it's been awful - and completely unlike me.

When I sat and really considered everything that's going on right now, the guidance I've received and the joy Dani talked about that I seem to constantly be seeking, I realised something huge.

I have all these tools at my disposal, I've purposely trained in lots of modalities because the 'traditional' route of meds and talk therapy did not work for my mental health. And it was bad. Very bad. All I felt with that help was re-traumatised and totally disconnected from my emotions. I mean, you can't be sad if you don't feel anything. You can't be happy either, but hey, it's better than nothing right?

Wrong.

The modalities I'm trained in helped me release all symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD that repeatedly returned, month after month, year after year.

But life is one big curve ball. It throws things our way and although the healing I've already done means I'm more teflon than before, not everything slides off as easily as it could. And I hadn't opened up my toolbox for ME for a very long time.

Healing is a lifelong commitment. I mean, who knew?!

So, I've had to go back to basics.

Touch base with my spiritual crew who, I'm pretty sure say 'FFS' several times a day whilst watching my chaos. I've scaled back some of my work commitments and committed time and energy to ME!

As soon as I make that decision - BOOOOOOOOM 💥A constant stream of spiritual downloads start to flow into my consciousness, that I HAVE to get on paper and I NEED to deliver. New courses, workshops, e:books and a frickin' novel. I mean WTF universe. Seriously kid?

I'm prepared though. Because Dani talked to me (and about 800 other people!) about joy.

She said a few things actually, and I want to share some of what resonated, with you:

Joy grows when it's witnessed

I gotta get out there. With my kids, with my business. If I'm hiding from either, I'm not gonna find joy. All the new shiny things I'm bringing forward can go on the backburner for now. If I'm doing nothing but plan and get new things in place I'm not focusing on what I have now. I'm staying in the shadows, not visible. And oh lordy, I need a witness for my joy right now!

Joy actively encourages you to be silly - and guess what? It's allowed!

Presence with your kids is vital for connection (that one's from me haha!). Being silly, acting daft, it brings joy. Sharing it, even more so. Remember when you were a kid and talked in a silly voice? Did a silly walk that made your parents laugh? Go find her. Be her. Just for a bit.

Joy loves a good ritual

Get your ducks in a row, plan your shit, get into a routine and stick to it. Ticking things off gives a sense of achievement - even if, like me, you write the to do list after you've done it, just for the dopamine 'tick' hit. Try it!

Joy loves it when you look after you and others

So this one resonated a bit too deeply, and yet it's so simple! How good do we feel when we're good to ourselves? When we help others in our own little ways? It doesn't have to be a groundbreaking shit storm rescue operation for someone, it can be a kind word, an appreciative gesture. Why are we not constantly there, doing that?

Joy comes from permission

This one's biiiiig for me.

Permission to feel it without worry of judgement.

Permission to express it without fear of judgement.

Permission to share it without fear of judgement.

Do you see a theme here?

So. What's bringing you joy right now? Where are you finding it? And who's witnessing it to help it grow?

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. But why the hell are you so sad?

Start there.

With the sad part.

It can only get better from now.

Prescribing peace & power

Paula ✨