Just the way I'm feeling ..... (p.s. I'm back!)

I wasn't expecting that!

5 solid weeks of illness.

Fluid on my right lung and fluctuating wellness that feels like riding the waltzers when the guy spinning your car has his eye on your mate and keeps spinning it again, and again, and again to impress her and you're just trying to keep it together enough to not projectile vom the hotdog you've just eaten right in his face ........

It's been tough.

'Delegate' they say.

'Ask for help'!

Mmmm. Not always that easy when you've been flying solo with your four little (and not so little) womb dumplings since 2021!

So anyway, whilst we shove that little unhealed belief that I'm 'admitting defeat' if I let anyone help me under the rug for now *rolls eyes*, let's get back to business!

I used to blog. A lot.

Although my previous brain dumps are SOMEwhere around this ginormous world wide web thingy, I've let them be. I'm starting fresh. I begin again. Like a phoenix from the flames of time.

Well, about 6 or 7 years. I mean that's history right?

I used to bare my soul here in these online pages. It was my therapy. It was something I always made time to do and it helped me feel frickin' awesome.

It wasn't polished. Just raw and real. Exactly as you'll find me. But way back then so many people got so much out of my ponderings, I thought I'd start it up again.

Plus, I'm overwhelmed TF right now.

Neuro-'spicy' is deffo me - whether it's because antidepressants masked those symptoms for so long (heavily medicated for 20+ years - drug free for 5); or it's peri-menopause, let's all agree right here and now, it's a part of me that I live with. That WE live with. My kids and me. And we're doing our very best. And it's going pretty damn well despite life's challenges (and this pesky bloody illness!).

What I used to write about was life observations. Things I noticed about me, my behaviours, thoughts and feelings and how I managed (or sometimes got nowhere near managing) them. It seems a lot of people feel and do very similar crazy shit to me too.

I mean who knew?

Anyway, I'm starting it all again whilst I nurse these lungs back to full health, try and keep as much sanity as I still have left in tact and raise four beautiful kids pretty much on my lonesome.

I, and you (if you stay with me), will be joined by some pretty epic 90's indie tunes for inspiration, comfort, a lil reminiscing now and again and sometimes just for shits and giggles.

Because that's just me.

It's good to be back. 10 points if you can reference the tunage in this read alone! ;)

I'll see you soon you beautiful humans!

✨ Prescribing Peace & Power, with loadsa love, from Paula x